Monday, 26 September 2016

IMPS Mountain Time Trial - Sun 16th October

This is our annual Club mountain time trial. We are on the Barkisland - Buckstones - Outlane - Buckstones - Barkisland Course. HQ is Greetland Community Centre. This is a CTT event, with a £2 entry fee to be paid on the day to cover insurance costs. As usual Marshalls are also required.

Brompton Ride up Cragg Vale

Unfortunately this is set for the same weekend as our club's Mountain Time Trial, but those who may want to take the day a little less seriously may prefer this...

Sunday, 25 September 2016

Imps Hill Climb 2016

I was reluctant to enter the Imps Hill Climb this year, as I knew that, unlike most of my Imps peers, I was not as fast as I was the previous year. I was worried about posting an abysmal time and feeling poorly in the process. However, the night before the entries closed, I had a sudden change of heart where I thought to myself “go and do your best and have a laugh”. So I entered. And I’m glad I did.

The hill climb was again organised by Graham Ellis who, along with his helpful marshals, made for a professional outfit. Again, this year’s event was mentioned in Cycling Weekly and billed as one of the hard hill climbs – of course – they’re all hard. The HQ was at the Lord Nelson pub – the same as last year but with different owners. The sun was out and it was past noon, so it was very difficult for us famously thirsty Imps to resist a pre-climb beer. However, as far as I know, we all did. Even though Hoppy was there supping away in the sunshine.

The Manns were there to man the fort (excuse the pun) dishing out the race numbers. I was told how to wear it by the now experienced TT rider Brabbin, and we all went outside to pootle round and eye up the competition and the bike porn.

There were 10 Imps riding, first off was Reid, and last off was Gary. In the middle was Sarah, Graham Lloyd, Paul, Nikola, Ian, yours truly, Tom, Lewis, and Gaz. Neil was “pusher offer” as Andrew was feared to vomit or cough on people, so he took pictures instead. I went for a quick spin up half of Halifax lane and then cycled myself to the start point at a pedestrian rate.

At 34 minutes past the hour I set off. There was a family out in their garden on the first part of the climb who seemed to be getting into it, cheering me on. I’m sure I wouldn’t have looked like I was in the race but for my number pinned on! After this I had silence until the hairpins, I felt like I hadn’t warmed up very well and I found it difficult to find my rhythm. There was some well –meaning goading at the bends and Vic and Gadget rung a cow bell. More photos were taken, obviously showing me in my finest sweaty, red moments. The second hairpin was followed by a slog and then it “eases off” so you can “sprint” for the finish. Tom then passed me, looking reasonably comfortable from where I was sitting. Obviously I crawled up at nearly walking pace, breathlessly chatting to people as I went up and getting a bollocking for it.

As soon as I got to the top, I asked for my beer which had been taken up for me by Lewis’s parents. I sat down and supped and cheered the remaining riders over the line. Already there when I arrived were the now partly recovered figures of those Imps listed above, save for Lewis and Gary. Gary came over the line looking remarkably composed considering the time he posted – though Sarah tells me he dropped his bike on the floor and doesn’t remember it! Then came the distinctive figure of a 6’7 man grimacing his way to the top and we all feared the worse – It was Lewis, and he was trying – would be all get covered in vomit? Luckily for us, although he was spent, he managed to gain composure eventually after a stroll round the graveyard. I think his words were “all too familiar”.

We then assembled in the pub for malted recovery beverages and lots of chat about pain. As far as I know, every other Imp posted a better time than last year – which is fantastic stuff – I blame my Imps coloured nail varnish for weighing me down. There were some ridiculously fast times. I believe fastest Imps man was about 6 ½ minutes and fastest lady around the 7.40 mark. The overall winner got a sub 5 minute time and fastest lady was about 7.10. I daren’t post actual times for fear I will get them wrong – so if you want details, I’m sure the result sheet will be posted soon!

Thanks to all involved, and in particular Graham, for another successful event.


Monday, 19 September 2016


Well, sorry for the delay in this final write up for 2016 Circuit Training but I had to wait for my brain to dry out after last Tuesday's mildly monsoon-like ministrations...

When the chief Timelord arrived the planet was bathed in sunlight and all was well with the world. He had passed through a brief squally shower on his return over the Pennines from sunny Oldham and the clouds had gone.

As the assistant Timelord and Timepup arrived along with a half dozen or so riders it suddenly went quite black but the cloud in question looked set to move past us so we continued our preparations.

 Then it went totally black just in time for people to get underway....

 ...and then it went Biblical deity with big-f***-off beard determined to wipe out those who were daring to disturb hisevening with their wheelings black with added kill 'em all lightening.

The new Membership Secretary demonstrated his commitment by going home before he started....Ian Scott started but had the sense to come back and hide in the Tardis with the Timelords.

The rest did one lap each in total darkness and horizontal rain, except for Chris Smith who did two laps, because he is chanelling Guy Martin as we all know and so is "well 'ard".

Sadly he didn't get a total time as the assistant Timelord turned off the time piece assuming he'd stop like a sensible if.

The Timekeepers then ferried the remaining survivors home in conditions that remained on the far side of wet.

Might as well finish the season in a spectacular fashion.  See you all next year.  Results below.  Rollers will start in November but bear in mind the Faustos Roller League starts in early October.

Bye for now from the Gallifreyans....

Monday, 12 September 2016

50 Mile TT report by Sarah Burbidge (aka 'Setting the BAR High')

Ok so I'm back. Completed my first 50 mile TT in 2h 15 with an average speed of 22.2mph , and I wasn't last I was at least faster than one man, I didn't stay to see all the results !!
The winning lady recorded a time of 2h 01 the second fastest was at 2h 09 then the third was Me ! , ok so that made me last out of the ladies as the other 4 DNS , but still I'm chuffed also I was on a road bike and they were on full TT bikes with skin suits and proper helmets.. I looked like I'd just turned up for a Sunday social ride but still I gave it my all.
I did receive some funny looks at the start as I started inbetween some really fast men but by the end I received a few chapeaus for recording the time I did on my bike. Well done BIke !! You served me well.
To say I was gonna bail out , I actually really enjoyed it except the head wind on the return leg .. the head wind could have gone to hell !

Wednesday, 7 September 2016

Circuit Training 6 September

Another pleasant evening up at Norland. No new faces this week.  Slightly fewer midges and Tom had thoughtfully fetched some bug-off type spray. Not sure how successful it was however.

Sarah opted for just one lap and in the process secured a PB which has jumped her to the top of the one lap times. She is saving her legs for the 50 she's entered and which should see her take the Club Ladies BAR if she successfully completes it.

Ian Scott also managed to reduce his time for a PB as well.

Given that the pub made Samantha and I eat outside last week because we had Alfie we went to Brighouse and Millers Bar instead where hounds are welcome courtesy of Aunty Carolyn ex of the Ship and the Pallett bar who is Alfie's day time carer.

Monday, 5 September 2016

Another late post - Gary Bray's first 400 -weekend 27/28th August

Following my post yesterday evening to say that I was three quarters of the way through my first 400km bike ride, a couple of people have asked whether or not I successfully completed it. The good news is that I did indeed. The reason for the delay is that when I got home I prioritised sleeping above everything else. I was so tired!
  •  Mytholmroyd (west of Halifax) to Spurn Point (111 miles) 
  •  Spurn Point to Beverley via Withernsea and Leven (49 miles) 
  •  Beverley to Mytholmroyd via Crowle and Askern (102 miles) 

Looking back on it I feel like I’ve really achieved something big here. We had some atrocious weather around Hull during the day, and then the night portion of the ride after Goole was incredibly tough and slow going, especially when we were already tired out. I think after Goole it was safe to say that I thought we were nearly back but it was still almost 8 hours back from there, which did nothing for my motivation. I had a huge sense of relief at the end like I’ve never experienced.
Many thanks to both Chris’ and Florin for keeping me sane through the ride. Without you guys I would have abandoned.
 Total cycling time: 17 hours and 57 minutes (14.4mph)
 Total time including stops: 24 hours and 18 minutes (05:30am Saturday until 05:48am Sunday)
📏 Total distance cycled: 262 miles
Total elevation: approx. 8700ft. Our altimeters provided massively different results, like usual. Florin’s looks the most sensible so I’ve quoted his value (mine was bollocks following McDonalds so I’ve had to use Strava values.. any man made climbs such as motorway bridges etc are now lost)
☕️ Coffees consumed: more than I can count!